“Old world” Chivalry

I believe that the World Wars gave women a taste of what it was like to be independent – the men went off to war and the women had to make sure the factories and businesses kept going,  when the men came back two things happened

  1. The women no longer wanted to sit by the fire waiting for their men to come home, waiting for him to give them their allowance, waiting on him, they had had their taste of freedom, and they knew they did not need a man to support them or take care of them – they were more than capable of doing it themselves.
  2. The factories and businesses did not want the men back – after all women were cheap labor and they worked just as hard as the men – some even more so.

So the men had to claw their way back into their old jobs – or start up new ones – and all was good again until women started to get disillusioned – they were working the same jobs as men, working as hard as men but not getting the same pay – definitely not fair, so they burnt their bras, got all hot under the collar and demanded equal rights.  Now please don’t get me wrong I have nothing against the whole equal rights movement (if a woman does the same job as a man she deserves the same pay)– it is the spin off from it that has changed things between the sexes.

So now we have equal rights – we are equal to men, right – so therefore we can begin to act like them – women started going to pubs, getting drunk with the men, swearing as loud as, if not louder than the men, telling off colour jokes that rivaled anything the men could think of,  and these same women demanded that men treated them like ladies – was not going to happen because now they were “one of the boys” so men started to look at women differently.

Women, then,  with some confused reasoning, decided that when a man opened a door for her he was telling her she was too weak to do it herself, so started taking objection to this, the poor man who dared hold a door for a woman was either ignored completely as the women swept past, almost shoving him out the way or was asked if he thought her incapable of opening her own doors (I have seen and heard both of these happen) leaving the man hesitant to open a door for the next woman, who might have thanked him with a smile, but now is disgusted at his lack of manners – poor man can never win.  Having said that – there are still men today that are chivalrous – and know how to treat a woman properly.

I have friends who will always open the door for me, pull out my chair, let me go first, etc etc, they make me feel like a queen – they do it because they respect women, love women, and regard them as a special creation.

They do it from an old-world courtesy,  it is part of their desire to care and protect the woman ( not because they regard her as weak, but because, as I have said before, they regard her as a wondrous creation).   Recently, one of my friends, stepped back to allow a “lady” to go through the door first and she told him he did not need to hold the door for her, just because she is a woman , his answer “I didn’t hold it open because you were a lady – I held it open because I was a gentleman”

These are strong men who I  admire. They love to treat a woman with respect, but if the woman does not return the courtesy then that specific woman will not be accorded it again.  None of them are looking to be thanked, they do it because they want to, not because they want anything from it or the lady – but a thank you makes them treat the ladies in their lives with even more respect and caring.

I do not want to be equal to men, I am a woman and I am proud of it

I want a man to treat me as a special person, as a cherished, cared for person, because I am a lady.

Regarding yourself as equal to a man does not give you the right to be discourteous or rude when he opens doors for you, offers to open the wine, etc,  etc  – he is not saying you are weak, he is saying you are important enough for him to notice, you are a woman and that he, as a man, respects that.

To all those men out there who still open doors, pull out chairs and other little things – Thank you

To all those women who still say thank-you and smile with pleasure on receiving these gifts – Thank you

 


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