Everywhere I go I see angry faces, hear angry mutterings, partners sniping at each other, mothers shouting at their children, drivers hooting and gesticulating at each other, on and on it goes, angry hurting faces, angry hurting people all around. Like injured animals we turn and attack those that care about us, those that are there to help us, we snap and snarl and rant and rave, pushing people further and further from us, pushing us ever more into hurt and anger and resentment.
It is an endless cycle that needs to be broken before we all end up lonely and rejected. How do we break the cycle, how do we cope with the anger and pain around us, inside us and part of us? Instinct is to lash out (hurt people, hurt people) but that is not the solution, as far as I am concerned, there has to be a better way.
Anger is a natural emotion, it is something we are all entitled to feel, should feel at times but how we use this emotion shows our character and either enriches or destroys the lives around us. Sniping and snarling are counteractive to good relationships, they solve nothing. Discussing, debating, calmly seeking a solution is the ideal way, but unfortunately we are not perfect beings, so perhaps we need to learn how to handle our own anger.
Sometimes taking a time out works well, walking away from the volatile situation, going off alone and weighing everything. Asking, “Is it worth my anger?” If so decide how to proceed in dealing with it in a calmer frame of mind, if not (most of the time it is something petty and an emotional reaction ) then deal with it inside of ourselves. I am aware that walking away sometimes makes the other person more annoyed, so ask them to give us time to think it through, figure out what we feel, it sometimes helps to diffuse the situation and both get time to cool off.
Having said this, there are times a good shouting match is needed, it gets emotions out, clears the air, as long as it is contained and the parties do not leave each other hanging, in other words they end up accepting, forgiving or whatever is needed and go on with their lives carrying no resentment then it is all good.
Let’s try to live with the maxim – never go to bed angry then attempt to carry it further, try to never let our loved ones leave home angry at us or vice versa, for two reasons, firstly we never know if we will see them alive again, we don’t want anger to be our last memory and secondly, the anger is then not passed on to the innocent person at work or school.
Hug your kids, kiss your husband, keep your anger for those who have earned it, not for the innocent bystander, show your anger, deal with it and let it go, there is so little love in this world, let’s work at spreading it round more.
These are just my opinions and suggestions, and if you have anything to add that will enhance our lives please share it.